I Loved You First by Ratih Farida

 

Synopsis

Ridge Howe is a high school student and a neighbor of a girl named Sailor Rose Carter –a girl Ridge loves. But for Sailor, it seems like his presence doesn't mean a thing.

Will Ridge be able to confess his feelings for her? Will Sailor accept him?

Or does it turn out that Sailor will reject him?

The Story

In a park behind the school, the brown haired guy similar to his eyes was seen sitting on a bench, waiting for the girl he loved.

Ridge Howe, that is the name of a guy who is still faithfully waiting for her to come to a place where he's about to convey something.

The long wait slowly seemed to be paying off, when the person he had been waiting for finally arrived. The blonde haired girl and her beautiful gray eyes gave him a smile where he immediately flashed the same sweet smile as he saw her walking closer.

"Hey, Ridge!" said the girl as she stood in front of him.

"Oh, um... hey, Sailor..." Ridge stuttered.

Sailor Rose Carter, that is the full name of Ridge's favorite girl. Sailor and Ridge were together when they were both in Junior High School until now they were reunited in Senior High School.

And not only there, the location of the two houses can almost be said to be next to each other. However, it seems that both of them weren't really close to each other as friends but just neighbors.

Ridge himself has had feelings for Sailor since the two of them first met. Until now, Ridge still doesn't know whether Sailor feels the same way or not.

Yes, maybe it's time to find out how the girl feels about him, even though he found it impossible to reach her.

"So, what do you want to say?" Sailor asked straight to the point, making Ridge stiff.

"Uh, actually.. I.. Umm.. come with me." Ridge grabbed Sailor's hand so that the girl followed his lead.

"But, where are we going?"

"Umm.. just follow me."

When the two of them had just started walking, suddenly a guy's deep voice was heard from behind both of them. And that guy seemed to be calling Sailor's name.

Sailor immediately turned around and saw a tall man with an emo hairstyle smiling at her.

"Alex!" Sailor answered the guy's name with a sweet smile on her face. But for Ridge, it doesn't look sweet since he found himself alone right now, got left behind by his favorite girl.

Alex Simpson, an ugly guy with hazel eyes and his emo hairstyle according to Ridge, is the only one who's standing in the way of their relationship --Sailor and Ridge that soon could happen.

Ridge now feels annoyed and sad when he has to face the fact that Sailor seems to care more about the weirdo than himself, who is looking cuter with a hair flip style that almost resembles the old hairstyle of world superstar Justin Bieber.

***

The night has come, a guy with beady brown eyes now looks lost in thought, with his arms folded behind his head, lying on his soft bed.

It's certain that he's daydreaming about the failure he got in just to find out how she felt about him in the afternoon.

And now Ridge suddenly came back to his senses when he heard the sound of a car engine stopping in front of the yard of his beloved girl named Sailor.

Curious as to who would come to visit the girl's house at night, Ridge immediately took a peek at the window. And when he had looked deeply at the person's features, his eyes widened and his mouth slightly agape at the sight which he found unpleasant to look at.

Of course, it was none other than Alex, who was now seen kissing Sailor's forehead just to give the girl a goodbye kiss. Even though it's just a kiss on the forehead, Ridge still felt sad when he saw his girl in someone else's arms.

Because after all, Ridge is the only person who sincerely loved Sailor first. But why does it seem too difficult for her to realize that...

***

The next day, Ridge still hasn't had the chance to confess his feelings for her. And of course, the only one who could stand in their way is Alex's figure.

Days have turned into weeks, weeks into months, and now it's almost half a year since he entered high school, but all those opportunities must soon be lost.

It hurts when Ridge had to see Sailor who was always making out in front of him with that weirdo Alex. He has done various ways to just give a clue, but still Sailor will never get it...

Or maybe it's time for Ridge to give up..

***

This prom night is about to begin. Ridge doesn't seem to have any intention to attend the dance night alone, without any partner.

Not surprisingly, now he is just seen lazing around in his room, watching TV with a soft drink and popcorn in his hand.

When Ridge was about to leave his room to refill the popcorn, his cell phone rang, displaying a message on it.

Sailor

'Hey, Ridge, you going to prom?'

Ridge fell silent for a moment, seeing a message which turned out to be from his beloved girl named Sailor. He felt a little confused, but on the other hand, he felt happy because it turned out that Sailor still cared about him.

Ridge

'Umm, no, you?'

Ridge immediately replied to her message. A few seconds later, Sailor texted him back.

Sailor

'I will, wish you were there..'

Ridge's eyes widened when he read Sailor's message hoping that he would come to the prom. The feelings of confusion and happiness were now filling him when he read that type of message.

Ridge has some mixed feelings. He wondered, what should he do now? Just laying here watching TV with popcorn? Or go to prom with his sweetheart?

But on the other hand, Ridge is still asking about the whereabouts of Alex, Sailor's sweetheart. Where was the guy when the prom night arrived? Have they both ended their relationship?

Well, maybe the many questions in his mind will soon be revealed if he comes to the party...

***

Wearing a black suit with his Justin Bieber hair flip style, Ridge immediately ran aimlessly through the crowd of people in the school park, intending to look for Sailor's figure.

"Shit, how stupid! Why don't I just contact her?" Ridge grumbled to himself.

Ridge immediately took out his smartphone from his trouser pocket. However, when he was about to contact the girl he was looking for, suddenly he felt an arm on his shoulder.

Ridge turned around and found the beautiful girl he adored, wearing a long white dress like a princess, giving him the sweet smile that she had.

"You .."

"Ridge, there's something I want to talk about.."

"Um, what is that?"

"Can we talk about this while dancing?"

"Of course."

The two of them are now dancing slowly. And so slow like their dances, Sailor begins to pour her heart out to Ridge about Alex. The girl complained that Alex was just a coward. And her reason behind that was because Alex was just playing with her heart all along.

All this time, Alex treated Sailor like his girlfriend. However, it turns out that Alex always keeps their relationship a secret. She also was really sad to find out that she was just a bet for Alex and his friends.

Hearing all that, Ridge was really angry. He really wanted to hit that dull face so hard. How dare he treat her like shit?

But in the end, Sailor assured that all of this was useless, because Alex would never return to school or the city where Ridge and Sailor lived. Sailor then convinced him that she was willing to forget about Alex and will continue her love story with someone better.

A victorious smile appeared on Ridge's face. And maybe this is the right time to tell her what's in his heart.

"Well, you know... I've loved a girl for a long time... but she could never see that..."

"And, umm.. you know I also have a guy I love since the first time I saw him next to my house.."

Ridge's body stiffened, he seemed to swallow hard. Ridge was surprised when he heard Sailor's little confession that the girl loved the guy who lived next to her, which means that man was just himself.

"Ridge."

"Sailor."

Both of them chuckled when they said in unison.

"You first." Sailor said to Ridge.

Ridge was clearing his throat first. "Sailor.. I love you so much.. will you be mine?"

"Umm.. sure. I love you too, Ridge." Sailor answered without any hesitation.

THE END

Vision by Ratih Farida

 

SYNOPSIS

Indira Larasati, a senior high school student who had a friend named Patricia Geraldine. Both seemed close until one day she figured out something about Patricia. This made her assume that they're not really that close as they thought.

 

She's so gloomy like that Gloomy Sunday. That was the vision she had for her in the future. And that's when she realized that she got a blessing or even a curse.

The Story

This story contains strong language, fouls behavior, suicidal behavior/thought, blood, etc. So, better not read if it trigger you to do something similar but whoever read this, thanks for your support, I love you a lot. Stay here, be my loyal readers lmao xx

Sunday is Gloomy,

My hours are slumberless,

Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless.

Little white flowers will never awaken you.

 

The song was played by a girl named Patricia Geraldine through earphones that connected to her cellphone. And there was a girl named Indira Larasati who sat next to her.

Indira was a native Indonesian girl. Meanwhile, Patricia Geraldine was a Hungarian-Indonesian girl. Apparently the two of them were seat mates. And the class was still going on. But it seemed like both of them didn't pay enough attention to the class.

"Since when have you been listening to Gloomy Sunday?" Indira asked her, whispering. But Patricia literally ignored her for putting on her earphones. So, she decided to elbow her.

"Since that Gloomy Sunday?" Patricia finally answered. So, she literally heard what Indira said before. But she pretended not to hear.

"But you wouldn't do anything stupid, would you?"

"Like suicide?" Patricia sounded cynical.

Indira sighed, "Just forget it." Deep down, she suddenly worried about her.

The two girls finally came back to their own business where one of them paid attention to the teacher who was busy teaching her students in front of class. And she was Indira.

While the other one was still listening to the music secretly. She was hoping that she wouldn't get caught for not paying attention to the teacher. And this girl was Patricia. Who else?

"Okay, Let's stop discussing these Introvert, Ambivert and Extrovert matters. Anyone have a question?" The counseling teacher was starting a Q&A session with the students.

One of the students apparently asked a question off topic. "Ma'am, what about personality disorders like umm... psychopaths or sociopaths?"

The teacher was about to answer but her answer was interrupted by one of the other students. "And what about bipolar?"

"Yes, ma'am. Why does a personality disorder like that always lead to suicide?"

And again, the teacher was interrupted by the ringing bell. So, this class really has to come to an end.

 

***

 

 

Little white flowers

Will never awaken you

Not where the black coach

Of sorrow has taken you

Angels have no thoughts

Of ever returning you

Would they be angry

If I thought of joining you

Gloomy Sunday

A black haired girl now was walking up to the rooftop with her hands holding such a pair of lunch meals, where she and Patricia discussed something about having lunch upstairs earlier.

That Gloomy Sunday seemed to come back echoing in her ears. But now the song was heard like a singing voice. And that's when she knew that Patricia was the one who sang that gloomy song.

"Pat..." She was so shocked running closer to where Patricia stood. So, she accidentally dropped their lunch. But it seemed like they didn't matter anymore when she caught her walking around the edge of the roof. "What the fuck was on your mind?"

"Heh, back off." Earlier Indira wanted to pull her away from that dangerous side of the roof. But Patricia pushed her hands away.

"Seriously? I told you earlier not to do anything stupid."

"Heh, what was it exactly? I'm just walking around the edge. I'm having fun here, so?" Patricia scoffed.

"Still it's dangerous.. I just worry about you. So, come down." She insisted.

"No."

"Girl, please."

"Seriously? Why did you have to worry about me?"

"You're my friend?" Indira seemed to be the one who wanted to stop arguing.

"Tch." Patricia continued to walk around the edge carefully, letting her hands hang in the air.

"Patricia, what's bothering you? Be honest with me." She looked at her in horror. She's afraid of her getting slipped.

All of a sudden, Patricia stopped walking and her sinister laugh was bursting out. Her laugh made Indira shudder in horror.

"Oh, curious much?" Patricia flattened her face.

Indira sighed, "Come on.."

"Oh, you think you can solve my problem?" Now she was bursting out in anger. "You think you can be a father of this fuckin' unborn piece of shit?"

Indira was too stunned to speak. "What??"

"See? What a fuckin' useless piece of whore you are." The way she cussed, it led Indira to awaken her wrath. So, she slapped her.

"Watch your mouth! No need to be rude like that. I was just trying to help." She was mad for a second but then she still had such a good heart to catch her when she almost fell.

"Heh, what did you expect for having a fuckin' bipolar friend like me? I wish for nothing else but being dead every single time. My life has been over since that Gloomy Sunday.. I wish to haunt that fuckin' rapist to death.."

"Patricia.." She didn't let her cuss anymore. She wanted to embrace her, wanting to save her from the death end, but yet she refused her.

"Fuck off."

"No, I won't. Please, stop!"

"Bitch."

Too bad. It seemed like Patricia really had a strong will to death. So, she hit her on the face. Patricia made her hiss and fell on her butt.

"No!" Indira was screaming to watch her falling down from the edge to the ground. She was finally kissing her death end like she was wishing to.

Earlier she watched her smirk before falling. The way she wanted so bad to be dead was really killing her to the point she was bursting into tears right now.

She watched her unstoppable bleeding from the edge of the roof even though she was no longer alive. And slowly, a bunch of students surrounded her. Some of the female students screamed, while the male ones tried to find some help or dial the ambulance.

She was on her knees now, crying out loud. She literally blamed herself for slapping her earlier. The way she slapped her was the only cause for her to trip then fall and lead her to die.

"Fuck you, you're a fuckin murderer..." She's crying in frustration. So, she let the back of her head hit the wall harshly.

And the way she hit her own head was leading her to see her surroundings spinning around. She was wincing in pain, while her vision now was slightly blurry. And for a few minutes away, she succeeded to let herself fall gracefully. She officially let herself unconscious.

 

 

***

 

 

"What the fuck?"

From the way that girl cursed, all eyes were now officially on her.

"Miss Larasati, did you have such a nice nap?" A teacher approached her with a sarcastic tone.

"Oh, sorry, Ma'am." She was feeling half awake while saying sorry. And all of the students now were mocking her by their laughter echoing in the classroom.

"Detention later, Miss." The teacher warned her as she was starting all over to teach.

She only let out a sigh but the girl beside her seemed not to pay attention to the current situation.

"Patricia?" Indira was whispering to call her seatmate. But then she ignored her.

Indira then noticed the earphones on her ears. She leaned closer and had an idea to eavesdrop on what she's listening to. She was gulping later and widened her eyes when the Gloomy Sunday echoed in her ear like a DeJavu.

This scene was like a vision for her, where she could define it as a blessing or rather a curse. She never knew what her vision meant but just blessed her curse inside her mind instead.

"Oh, shit. Here we go again."

THE END

Only Hope by Ratih Farida

SYNOPSIS

Hope Simons, a 20 year old girl who suffered from a serious illness at a young age. She fought against her disease which continuously ate her alive day by day. She also had the only hope of living a little longer with her beloved family. She only hoped that a graceful miracle would come alive.

So, is her wish really going to come true? Or is it going to end up being such an only hope?

THE STORY

I sat under the twilight sky where I had my only hope to open my eyes every single morning, in this mortal world. A hope where I would still be able to share a bunch of happiness with my loved ones like father and mother. Before the time has come for these eyes of mine to close.

Just say that my name is Hope Simons. I 'm a 20 year old girl who was continuously hoping for such a miracle to be alive. A miracle to fight against this malicious disease called Dementia.

In the past, I was known as the cheerful hazel-eyed girl who could brighten up their world, right before my world started spinning in the blink of an eye. My world had apparently fallen to the rock bottom where I felt like sinking and I couldn't swim across the ocean. It's like I couldn't find the surface of my final goals in life. This world has been really cruel and too short for me. My life was very saddening.

And right now, I was slowly writing almost three words, simply describing how amazed I feel by watching the beautiful orange view in the sky this afternoon. I tried to express words in the form of poetry as I usually do. Because once, I was dreaming about becoming a poet.

Once, I was an optimistic person and known to be smart as well. But now, everything's changed to the point I've become someone who's pessimistic and slow in thinking, speaking or writing and every little thing that was easy to do before. Maybe the cause of it was my Dementia almost at its peak. In other words, I was slowly approaching the final stage of my life. The expectancy of living longer is very small. Even the doctors said that I'm almost near the death gate.

"Miss Hope?" I heard the voice of my nanny who had been accompanying me all day long. "Let's go home... it's getting dark." She sounded stuttering. And It seemed like she was afraid that my response would be excessive. Because to be honest, since I had this disease, I have become very sensitive.

And it's true though. I held back my tears, crying inside when I found the poem I wrote wasn't finished yet. I literally finished writing three words only and It hurt me. I was upset to the point I already found myself bursting into tears in the end. I can't hold back anymore. My condition seemed to be able to worry my nanny so much that she let herself run closer to where I was. So, she took me into her tight embrace, trying to calm myself down, throwing my chaotic side away somewhere far from where I belong.

And when I finally found myself on the way home in the car, I decided to continue my writing for the next four words. Those four words were I Love Mother and Father, instead of describing the beauty of the evening sky. And for the next words, I suddenly forgot and got confused of which words I should write. But then at the same time, I also realized that this is who I am now. I'm literally an idiot, I can't even speak or write pretty well at 20. An age where I should be able to do things like that easily. But the fact is I can't, and that only makes everything worse, like sometimes I really want to hate myself. And it's like my life is getting dark and darker.

And when the sky was completely dark. My dad, mom and I had just finished having dinner at home. With simple movements and else, I gave them a piece of paper saying that I loved them both. And it was very clear from the look on my eyes that both of them were crying. And I don't know what the meaning of those tears were, but all I always wanted and missed was the warm embrace they gave to me, and the words saying I love you too coming from them, right at the moment when they were crying over what I wrote in the paper.

As the sky outside looked increasingly dark, I was looking at the clock on the wall which showed 9 p.m. And it's finally time for me to fall into my peaceful slumber. So, as usual, mom and dad gave me their kiss goodnight before going to bed. And right before my sleep, my eyes caught a glimpse of sadness coming from my mom. And my father beside her, was embracing and rubbing her back as if trying to erase her sadness. And as my vision got darker, I felt like I was gonna have a really long nice sleep as if I really didn't know how to wake up anymore.

But then I found myself wrong. I literally knew how to wake up. And my eyes caught a light as I slowly stood up straight in amazement. I myself apparently found the beautiful place all around me. But sadly speaking, I couldn't find my mom and dad's presence here.

A second later, I found myself flinching as I noticed several unusual conditions where I suddenly could speak like a normal person without any disease. My brain then felt like it was re-functioning, where I was able to remember a memory that my dad and mom had made before going to sleep. I just didn't expect that the next memory which came up was when they both cried and said Mom and Dad love you too, dear Hope.

And a moment later, I had concluded everything. Like, is this what it feels to be dead? Leaving the mortal world behind for the eternal one? And leaving my mom and dad behind for this illness?

At the same time, the sadness and happiness was filling my whole heart, mixed into one. Indeed, I was happy to find myself closer to God. But on the other hand, I felt sad when I had to leave my mom and dad behind in the mortal world.

But what else can I do? I shouldn't regret everything. After all, this was all my destiny given by the Almighty God. This was where I belonged to completely step on eternity. Abandoning the hope of remaining alive in the mortal world that concludes a state where hope is indeed just a hope. Because in the end, fate was the one who will still determine everything.

Hope will always love Mom and Dad, no matter what and where I go. Our world might be different now, but the only hope of seeing them again was real and strong. The only love and hope for them was right here in this heart, mind of mine, and so big 'til I reached the highest level of eternity.

THE END